77 Notes to Self

1. there are plenty of ways to enter a pool. stairs are not one of them.
2. never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. don't knock it till you try it.
4. if a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. always use 'we' when referring to your team.
6. when trusted with a secret, keep it.
7. just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
8. don't dumb it down.
9. you only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
10. if you're staying more than one night, unpack.
11. never park in front of a bar.
12. expect the seat in front of you to recline, plan accordingly.
13. hold your heroes to a high standard.
14. a suntan is earned, not bought.
15. never lie to your doctor.
16. all guns are loaded.
17. take a vacation from your cell phone, tv, internet. even if it's only once a year.
18. don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
19. a handshake beats an autograph.
20. don't linger in the doorway in or out.
21. if you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
22. never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
23. be mindful of what comes between you and the earth. always but new good shoes, tires, and sheets.
24. never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
25. eat lunch with the new kids.
26. it's never too late for an apology.
27. don't pose with booze.
28. if you have the right of way, take it.
29. you don't get to choose your nickname.
30. when you marry someone, you marry their entire family.
31. never push someone off a dock.
32. under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
33. don't make a scene.
34. when giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
35. know when to ignore the camera.
36. never gloat.
37. invest in good luggage.
38. make time for you mom on your birthday, its her special day too.
39. when opening presents, no one makes a good guesser.
40. sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
41. give credit. take blame.
42. suck it up every now and then.
43. never be the last one in the pool.
44. don't stare.
45. address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
46. stand up to bullies. you'll only have to do it once.
47. if you've made your point, stop talking.
48. admit when you're wrong.
49. if you offer to help, don't quit until the job is done.
50. look people in the eye when you talk to them.
51. thank the bus driver.
52. never answer the phone at the dinner table.
53. forgive yourself for your mistakes.
54. know at least one good joke.
55. don't boo.
56. know how to cook at least one good meal.
57. learn to drive a stick shift.
58. it's ok to go to movies alone.
59. dance with your parents.
60. don't lose your cool. especially at work.
61. always thank the host.
62. if you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
63. there is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
64. be a good listener. don't just wait for your turn to talk.
65. keep your word.
66. carry your mother's bags. she carried you.
67. be patient with airport security. they're doing their job.
68. do't be the talker in the movie.
69. you are what you do, not what you say.
70. learn to change a tire.
71. be kind.
72. don't litter.
73. make the little things count.
74. you're never too old to need your mom.
75. smile at strangers.
76. make eye contact.
77. if you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.